15. Dec, 2017

I’ve come so far!

I’ve just been sitting here pondering 🤔 thinking 💭 remembering all the events that have taken place leading up to this exact moment! Wow 😮! There truly has been some horrific events, wonderful memories made and tears 😭 and laughter all amidst the chaos and the creation of my life... some traumatic experiences and some memorable moments I’ll never forget... there’s been horrible men and some beautiful souls in there too... all of which have taught me some very precious lessons... when I consider where I started from, to where I am now... wow 😮! An Amazing journey has taken place so far... I know the hardest part of my life so far is waiting... waiting to be loved, to be accepted for who I am, flaws n all, waiting for the right moment, the right day, week, year... I feel like I’ve been waiting forever! Because I have... in reality I’ve been waiting my whole life, almost 50 years, to receive what I never thought was possible! I’ve waited n longed for what I was told I’d never get because I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, brave enough and the list goes on! One day it’ll be my turn and I’ll be waiting no longer to know I am enough! Until that one day arrives I’ll still be waiting... patiently, diligently and acceptingly of all that is to come... I have become a very patient woman over my years of motherhood... my children tried my patience but we all survived... if I could have been 1/2 the mother my girls turned out to be! Well let’s just say they would have had a much better life... but! I can’t change a thing! It’s all just blood under the bridge now! Now! The only thing I can do is continue waiting... wait till it’s my turn, till it’s the right time to be all I was born to be... thoughts are a dangerous thing, especially when you’re living in a mind like mine... I’ll never regret anything in my life... I’ll never wish I’d done things different or better as if I’d changed anything I wouldn’t be here right now... still waiting for that right time, waiting to become... the very thought of being recognised for my worth is exciting, the very thought of my time arriving is breath taking, but the biggest and best thought I’ve had so far is the thought, it’ll be forever... till the day I die... then! All my almost 50 years will have been worth the wait... so until that day arrives... I’ll just keep waiting... one day will come... I’m where I want to be... with who I want to be with... I’m in a beautiful place I can truly call home and for the very first time in my life, I can say I’m truly loved... probably not the way I was taught love would be, possibly not the way I was taught to love but so very loved in the only way known how... now! That part of my waiting is finally over! Now! I can begin waiting all over again for my life to be committed... to one soul that I’ll travel the rest of my journey with... on a bike, in a van, a car and a heart! Now I’m waiting for my final stretch of my existence, for 2 to become 1 and for that I’m willing to wait! At last I’ve found my soulmate, my other half, the one who completes me... thank you Universe, God and all my angels for giving me what & who I have... now! I’ll wait! 🙏🏻😇😊