It's OK to meltdown, just don't unpack and stay there! Part 6 Final visit
On the 9/11 I headed into the dentist for the final visit to the Chair! When I arrived, told to me by a beautiful friend who attended with me, I was off my guts!! The dentist prescribed me 1 only, Valium, I guess since I had absolutely no drug residue, no alcohol, no cigarette or anything in the way of addictions In my system since my kidney infection and then breast cancer... The chemo especially... that the solitary Valium took it's toll... I was told I was 'drunk' lol... Rolling on the floor on the dentist surgery and being a total dick! Lol
Then it came to my dentist appt time... I was laughing, pretty joyful, apparently... I didn't actually remember anything about the day...
I sat in the chair... The rest, for me is history! My friend tells me that the dentist couldn't get my mouth numb enough to pull the teeth! I slightly remember hearing the dentist say if it doesn't work he'lol have to send me home with my teeth... Then I'd have to go to the hospital and have them out under sedation... I wasn't going home with my teeth today!!
I asked my friend to turn on my little recorder and I tuned myself into meditation music, guided meditations and songs, me singing Vanessa Amorossi... Shine... Amongst them.
I could feel the pain, I could hear the ripping of the tendons and their roots as my teeth were extracted... 9 teeth, 1 by 1... In the end ... Once the denture was placed in my mouth, I returned from my happy place and they held a mirror in front of my face... I cried, my friend cried... The whole dental surgery were almost in tears ... I saw myself with a massive smile... Something I hadn't had for around 30 years... After my teeth being taken away over many years, from scrupulous men and then chemo... I now have the most beautiful smile and thanks to my most wonderful man I will smile sweetly on our wedding day... I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the wait till I could get to the hospital and I knew it was now or never... Yes! I am in pain! Yes! I do know it could have been done differently... But all in all, the best way to achieved something is to grin and bear the pain and suffering... The resilts speak for themselves ... This is me! My smile isn't fake... My teeth may be, but in the end my smile is 100% real... Thank you for following this 5 week journey... I've now taken a whole week off from work of any kind and I'm sinking this time into me... i don't often take time for me to receive the TLC I need but this time I really have no choice... And btw I now have a pet nickname, given to me by my beautiful partner... Dave calls me 'smiley' ... Yes! What's not to smile about!!! The pain will be present of a while but soon, I'll be back on board and now! In all my years I've lived so far... I'm able to smile and mean to be happy! I feel like I'm one very happy, grateful soul... Thank you ... Catch ya all l8terz...