12. Oct, 2016
Me? A mum?
I thought I would sit and write a bit about parenting and how to get it wrong! Lol
I have had the utmost pleasure of being a mother to 6 children, 1, I lost at birth, so I still bought up and am still bringing up 5... No one ever said it would be easy to be a mum! No one ever gets anything that closely resembles a rule book, or instruction leaflet when they're delivered, not even a receipt we can claim back on tax ... We're just handed this bundle of joy that we stare intently at and wonder how the hell did you fit inside me and wow! You're beautiful ... This stage doesn't stick around for long, before you know it they're screaming for your attention, wanting to be fed, changed, tended to and to be loved... Not long after they're not babies anymore... They're little human beings who rely greatly on you teaching them what they need to know in life. It all becomes quite boring really! Like the times they have to know what something is! You know what it is, why don't they? So you do your utmost to be attentive, show them how life works! But what happens when you don't know yourself, you've never been shown how to really live your life, how to discern right from wrong, God forbid, what to do and what not to do as you grew up... The lost child...
Happily, I am one woman who was placed in that category. Here I was a child of 16 falling pregnant and having my baby when I was 17. I was scared, scared I'd fail as a mother, a parent to such a vulnerable, pure, innocent little thing like the one I was given 2 months after I turned 17... I was a child having a child. I was branded!
I lived my life as a 'baby making machine', all told I had 13 pregnancies with 6 births and the rest... Well that's just history... Now I'm 48 and I have been a mum for 31 years and I still get it wrong! But I also get it very right! Wisdom has become a huge part of my parenting, choice has become a huge part of my parenting, their choice! Not mine! I don't feel it is my place, my 'duty of care' to make it all ok for them, to take away their learning curves and their lessons in life, the lessons they need to learn from to enable them to become who they are destined to be... I love all my children, every one of them started of as one of those tiny beings in my arms, the ones I stared intently at wondering how did you fit in there? And wow! You're beautiful! They still are! They're just beautiful adults now!
We're all allowed to make mistakes, I've made my fair share, believe me! We're all allowed to stuff up and get it right and stuff up again and keep stuffing up until we die! We're human. We're all allowed to hurt, get angry, annoyed, frustrated, pissed off even! But it's our choice wether we unpack and stay there! My children are now, all having their own children. Getting married, divorced, losing children and gaining wisdom! Taking their parenting skills to heights I could only have dreamed of in my early stages of parenthood... Still they're making mistakes, learning to be who they're destined to be... and all the while, whilst I'm watching them grow, I still think back to that very first moment when I held each and every one of them in my arms, stared intently at them and said WOW! You're so beautiful!
They all have their moments but in the end we have to be proud of who they become! Without us believing in who they could be, knowing we were once like them, and seeing them for who they are, they're all successful in their own rights... They're all travelling on the same path we call life... They're all striving to grow and keep growing and learning and gaining wisdom and now! They have little human beings who they once had inside them, or in the case of my boys, helped to put inside their partners, they are all trying to do the same thing we did!
Get along in life, learn what's right and what's wrong... What's acceptable behaviour and what's considered as rude, obnoxious and downright disgusting to portray themselves as... They're learning from the mistakes they make, and how not yo do them again... They're leaning for the very first time how to get it wrong! But someday, just like me, they'll learn how to get it right!
Be proud of who your child is or isn't and don't make them feel like they shouldn't have been born! Help lift them to their highest heights and don't be afraid to step away from them when they need you the most, this is called character building... They will be as successful, talented, gifted, unique and powerful as you allow them to be... Give them choice! Give them the chance to learn from their mistakes! Don't judge them for being who you wanted them to be... The very best version of themselves...
Love them unconditionally for all they have and haven't made you a proud mother for... For all their downfalls, their pitfalls, their self sabotage and their failures... Their successes, their achievements, their aha moments and their willingness to learn... Their love and their wanting to make you proud... Love them for being themselves, the best version of themselves they can possibly be... Just love them!
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