My Inner Thoughts In Ink

1. Mar, 2017

If I died yesterday
You wouldn't be sharing my time with me now
If I died yesterday
You'd be saying your sorry
But you wouldn't know how
If I died yesterday
You'd be thinking bout all of the times you weren't here
If I died yesterday
You'd be wiping your eyes
From the shedding of tears
If I died yesterday
You'd be arranging my funeral
But you wouldn't be glad
If I died yesterday
You'd be thinking of all those times we never had
All those laughs and all those joys that we never got to share
All those places we swore that we'd someday get there
All the nights and the days when you had to go away
All that love that we shared would be gone
If I died yesterday <3

Written 20/1/16

1. Mar, 2017

An ode to all my children <3
You may think I'm being ignorant
Ignoring every word you say
You may think I don't want to know
Wishing everything would go away

You may think I don't see anything
I can't see past the end of my nose
You may think I'm turning a blind eye
Just not wanting to know

What you don't see is how I feel
When I'm watching you all fall apart
You don't see the tears I cry
When I'm in pain with a broken heart

You only see what you want to see
Me, being a selfish person
You don't stop to think for a moment
That maybe I'm just hurtin'

I can't do anything for anyone now
You're all grown ups, I'm not in charge of what you do
I can only sit on the sidelines of your life
And watch as you all become you

I'm an observer
A watcher
I see everything happen
I don't ignore anything now

I'm a silent witness to all your commotion
At most times I take a bow
If it wasn't for me and all I taught you
For everything I put you all through

You wouldn't be the people you're now growing into
You wouldn't be the adults you're now becoming
You wouldn't know how to live your lives
Without me leading you <3

Written 5/9/2015

1. Mar, 2017

I can't sleep!

Sleep evades me
Thoughts invade my mind
Am I being too friendly
Too happy
Too kind

Am I trying to be something
Or someone I'm not
Is it really that hard
To accept
This is my lot

Have I not seen enough
To know what is true
Have I not begun something
Where the old
Becomes new

Will I ever know what it's like to be
Believed
Am I ever going to get the chance
To just be
Just be Me

Will I always second guess
Who I'm meant to be
Will I ever get the chance
To be totally
Happy

Should I just go back
To where I once was
Should I give up my dream of
No longer feeling lost

Of feeling at last
Like I truly belong
To just this one life
Would that really be
So wrong

Sleep evades me
My mind just won't stop
I want to forget now
Please let me get off

Written 7/10/16

 

 

6. Dec, 2016

Today's another day that's come n gone
And another one arrives tomorrow
It's depending on what I do with my time
If I decide to steal or borrow

Another day has gone to dusk
And the night has begun to set in
24 hrs has passed me by
With no trouble or toil within

There's a peaceful calm within me now
For what's to be happening soon
And still I choose to not stay in bed
Till morning reaches noon

There's so much more that I must do
To complete my tasks I've been given
So much more I have to do
To enjoy this life I'm livin'

The tears have stopped
And have been replaced with a smile
A smile I proudly wear
For what's to come
I know will be, at times, very hard to bear

What hasn't killed me up till now
Has kept me strong as an ox
But now my health has let me down
But I won't be goin in no damn box ;)

This part of my journey is going to be
Probably the hardest of them all
But in the end
Boobless or not
I will still be standing tall <3

Goodnight fb, today's near over
It's time to do a quick scan of my wall
To check my newsfeed
Then my pages
And it's off to the place I love most of all

In our bed
Next to my man! <3

Written 5/12/14

Rebecca Henley
13. Nov, 2016

I once wished upon a falling star
Please give me everything I've craved so far
Please give me strength to carry on
Surely these wishes couldn't be wrong

I wished for someone to hold me tight
To love and adore me
To make love to me at night
I wished for everything I wanted in life
I wished to be made someone's wife

I made another wish soon after
I wished for all my wishes to come true
I wished for a man to come into my life
To give me everything but trouble and strife
I wished for someone like you

My wishes were granted
Or so it seems
I now have everything I wanted and more
I have almost all the above
And for that I am grateful

Now I have nothing else to wish for...

Oh wait! Yes I do!
I almost forgot

I wish for you all to have everything I've got ") <3

Written 13/11/2015

Rebecca Henley